Upon the question of what struck Olga personally during my lecture, what thoughts and feelings crossed her mind, she tells us that she was especially interested in the idea of thoughts constantly occupying our minds, that she knew exactly what I was talking about and that she would like to express the feeling of the oppression this other being, the thinking entity creates in herself. As we move around this subject matter with our conversation, trying to find a form for this entity, she remarks that it felt a bit like a worm that was eating it’s way through her brain or that it could also be like a sort of Siamese twin, an other self, which is attached to her body that it cannot be removed without being killed. She continues the story telling us that she has been feeding this other self for years, but that she is now tired, as she sees, she does not need it anymore. This other self distracts her from being open to the world by constantly getting her wrapped up in conversations and takes her energy by constantly needing to be fed. In the piece she would like to do, she would create something that would look like her double, attached to her side; an entity which she would be feeding, a situation of two people completely absorbed in their closed exchange. Eventually, as she would discover that she is not as interested in this exchange with this Siamese twin as she used to be, she would just little by little stop feeding the other self and in that way the other self would shrink and eventually disappear, allowing her to exist as a whole, completely open and present perfect self.
This seems like such a wonderful idea and I am very excited to see how it will grow through further discussion with the group and her thinking it through further.
Unfortunately that is the last we ever see of her.